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For those who are new here or those who I haven’t officially chatted with or met, I’m Danielle, chef and owner of Newbrook Kitchen. That title has always been a bit tough for me to say, or swallow… “Chef”. I’ve had a long and complicated relationship with food and chef hood. Here it goes…

 

I’ve always considered myself to be a “multi-potential-ite”. Someone with many passions, interests, abilities and skills. I’ve dabbled in photography, fashion, styling, interior decorating, makeup artistry, hair, and many more. I’ve been artistic since I could walk and I’ve been a food lover even before that. Cooking has been a passion, lifeline, and dream. As a child, I was obsessed with my easy bake oven, hosted cooking birthday parties, and read Japanese cook books for fun. At my core, food seemed like it was everything! And where do you go for college when food is literally life? The Culinary Institute of America. As so I attended… but my reality VERY quickly changed.

 

Upon entering the CIA I realized that while I was the biggest young foodie I knew, I was far from the biggest foodie at school. Unlike my fellow, incredible classmates, I didn’t follow James Beard news, I didn’t practice the newest style of sous vide on my weekends, and I didn’t thrive in a stark white chef coat. My artistic and individualistic side was screaming to be let free. While my skills and grades were excelling at school, my soul and love of food was declining rapidly. I realized the notion that food was my whole life, everything, and the reason for my existence was only one facet of my being. I’m a family woman who from my teen years always craved a work life balance, kids, a partner, holidays at home, and Friday night socializing. I realized that instead of food being life, food betters my life, it can’t be everything. My reality seemed to shake.

 

My reality was shook even more when I was diagnosed with multiple autoimmune diseases including celiac. How was I to be a “chef” without gluten in my life and repertoire. Although I don’t discuss this often in my professional life, I will admit here that I made the tough decision to leave school after my first year. Enter culinary school dropout-dom.

 

I enrolled at UConn where I received my bachelors degree in Women’s Gender Studies. I absolutely LOVED my course load, but had no idea where it would take my career. Food had to take a back burner (no pun intended) as I studied and worked on healing my body. At the direction of my doctors, I started an autoimmune protocol diet, full of restrictions including, but not limited to gluten, dairy, soy, and more. My brain couldn’t handle the cognitive dissonance that while I still loved food, the food world that I had come to idolize, of mother sauces filled with flour (gluten that I could no longer eat), of cream soups, and fresh baked pastries, no longer could fulfill me, in fact they were poisoning me. I fell out of love with food for a while there, my trust in it’s warmth and comfort waned.

 

Silver lining time: my mom was also diagnosed with a similar but different autoimmune disease at the same time. We commiserated together, and generally leaned on each other. After some time we also started to cook together. In healing my body, I healed my relationship with food. I started to realize that food could nourish me, not just indulge me. I realized that there was a way to be a chef that was different than what had been prescribed to me. My mom and I went into business together, opening a Paleo cafe. It was absolutely wonderful, but calling myself “chef” while having dropped out of school, cooking gluten free and dairy free, while also aching to create fine dining masterpieces that I saw in magazines and on tv started to create imposter syndrome that I continue to live with.

 

Jump four years into the future. While I still have to eat and cook gluten free, my body has healed beautifully and I am no longer under the food restrictions I once was. I am finally at a place in my life where I am ready to jump into business proprietorship with all of my mom’s business lessons at the helm.

 

Enter Newbrook Kitchen, in which my heart and soul lie. The interior designed by myself, hours spent agonizing on which shade of green I should have the walls painted, which mismatched pictures should create my gallery wall, testing the comfort of the stools that my diners will sit on for a two and a half hour chef’s tasting experience. I create new menus each month, personally take phone calls for private event inquiries, answer every email that Newbrook receives, YET imposter syndrome. I cook from scratch, shop for every ingredient, craft every recipe, YET imposter syndrome. I welcome regulars to the Supper Club every month, sharing smiles and conversations with them, listen to their compliments, YET imposter syndrome. I’ve been approached by Food Network and Netflix for different shows, turning them down due to the nagging voice in my head saying “you dropped out of school, you’re not a real chef”. Convinced that if filmed, people would finally discover that I was a fraud, that I could not cut an onion fast enough, or chop herbs precisely enough.

 

When I opened Newbrook Kitchen, I knew I wanted children (my daughter lovingly entered the picture only a month after opening), I knew I wanted holidays with my family, date nights with my husband. I wanted to cook AND have a life. That’s how the Supper Clubs came to be. I offer 4-6 six course tasting dinners a month, where I am able to know exactly who and how many are walking through my door, with exact food costing measures and essentially no waste. From a business standpoint, my model is effecient and smart. My daughter is able to join me on my prep days cooing in her baby chair. I have balance, everything I have always craved, YET imposter syndrome.

 

I don’t feel “cheffy” enough.

 

I don’t feel as if I fit into the mold of the food world fully. But then again, what does “fully” mean? I think that at the core, I want to be accepted and accept myself for who I am and what I do. I can’t give 100% of myself over to food and restaurant life, I want to be at my daughter’s future plays and sports matches. I want to find the balance in life. I am so honored and privileged to have the ability and community necessary to create my own little food oasis, one where I am able to create my own hours, while simultaneously, creating memorable experiences for my diners. I honor and respect the grind that my fellow cooks push through day in and day out. I’ve had to learn and accept that that’s not the lifestyle for me and that there is no one “right” way to achieve in a field.

 

All of this is my long, LONG winded way of saying…

 

I just want to be able to push aside the voice saying “you don’t work hard enough” “your food is good, but not good enough” “your plating isn’t elaborate enough” and confidently call myself “chef”.

 

So here it is…

 

Hi, I’m Chef Danielle. Welcome to Newbrook Kitchen!

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